Sex. Something that's awkward to talk about. Or post a blog post about. The book of the Song of Solomon however celebrates love and the pleasure of sex in all its splendor. At first sight, the book might be awkward to read and hard to understand but for the Israelites in the time of Solomon, in the ancient Near East, this kind of literature was not uncommon. The Song of Songs for example has a great deal in common with ancient Egyptian love poetry. To understand what the message of the book is, it is therefore important to look beyond the story and see what the underlying values are of the book.
People interpret the book in multiple different ways. Some see the book as an allegory for Christ and the church (or for God and the Jews), some as a cultic love poem used in pagan worship rituals, or some as a drama or play. It is therefore hard sometimes to see what the message of the book is. How I see the book is that it is a series of poems that show God's design for romantic love. It shows the reader, king Solomon and the Israelites in the time of Solomon, how God intended it to be. For me, it was very surprising to have a book in the Bible that talks about love and sex. And so I wanted to share what this book taught me about God's design for romantic love.
Mutual love between two people
First of all, the book shows the mutual love between the two characters of the book, the Shulammite woman and king Solomon. We see how their love develops and matures, how the couple is longing for each other, and when they find each other, they won't let go. The lovers affirm each other in their beauty. Even though the Shulammite woman was not the most beautiful according to their cultural standards, king Solomon can't keep his eyes off of her. Right at the beginning of the book, we see him affirming her when she felt insecure under the gaze of the women at the court. In big groups of people, when they are entertaining their guest at the banqueting house (2:4) she feels loved and safe. She enjoys being in his company. Their love is mutual.
This was something that the author might wanted to emphasize in the book. Solomon with his many wives and concubines (1 Kings 11:1-4) might have lost sight of how beautiful love is. Through having so many women that could sexually please him, he could not see what marriage was ought to be: A covenant between two people who equally love each other. Something that provides peace and safety. Not something that should be forced upon someone. The woman should have ownership over her body and should be able to decide who she wants to marry (Songs 8:11-12). Not only should romantic love be mutual but the other thing that the author wants to teach Solomon about marriage is that it is meant for only one woman. The author describes the Shulammite as the perfect one, the one that is better than any other wife, concubine, or virgin (6:8-9). In marriage, there is only room for one person. At the end of the book, the Shulammite urges her husband to keep her close to his heart (8:6-7). Love is strong and powerful, like fire and death. It is not easily broken or quenched. It is more valuable than anything else in this world. She urges Solomon to value love and to honor their covenant.
Love in Community
The second thing that the author wants to emphasize is that a relationship should develop in community. In the book, the two lovers sometimes find themselves in the company of friends and family. In chapter 2:4 they are in the company of friends and guests, and in 3:4 and 8:2, they are in the company of the Shulammite's family. While being surrounded by community they enjoy each other's company. On his wedding day, Solomon receives the wedding wreath from his mother, showing that she gave her blessing over the marriage. The development of their relationship was not a secret. This showed the Israelites that a relationship and a marriage was something to be enjoyed in community, with the advice of friends and family to their disposal.
Love Under a Covenant
The third thing that the author emphasized is that sex is to be enjoyed under the covenant of marriage. The book is structured in a certain way that the poem about the marriage and the wedding night is right in the middle of the book (3:6-5-1). This was the author's way of saying that the sex scenes throughout the book all happened under the umbrella of marriage. Sex is beautiful and meant to be enjoyed. The wedding night is described with many details (4:1-5:1), something that we might not expect in the Bible. But the vivid sex scene is only described after their wedding day. Solomon is exploring a garden with the woman having hair like a flock of goats, cheeks like halves of a pomegranate, and breasts like fawns, but it was a garden that was previously locked (4:12), a garden that she now gave him access to (4:16). The Shulammite woman repeats throughout the book: " I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." (2:7; 3:5; 8:4)
A Reminder of Eden
This garden image reminds us and the Israelites of the garden of Eden. A garden where there was no shame, where the lovers were intimately connected and there was equality between Adam and Eve. Romantic and sexual love how God meant it to be. When Adam and Eve decided to make the choice against God, they suddenly saw how naked they were. Their sexuality got distorted. The book of Genesis after this is then filled with examples of how messed up sex could be (Gen. 4:19; 6:1-7; 9:20; ch. 19; ch. 34; ch. 38). Through the book of Songs, we get a small glimpse of the restoration of sex. We read about how a man and woman enjoy each other in a garden setting, being naked and unashamed (4:1-5:1). The relationship is egalitarian. There is no power play and no domination. They mutually serve each other with care, although there are still dangers that could destroy their relationship (foxes in 2:15; watchmen in 5:2).
And so this book teaches us today that God is wanting to restore romance and sex to how it should be. Relationships are meant to be equal, providing love, peace, and safety for both partners and it is really cool that we have a book in the Bible about that. Whether this book talks about Christ and the church I'll leave up to you. I encourage you to read the book for yourself and see how your romantic relationships and your relationship with God could change.
These posts are about what I'm learning in my School of Biblical Studies and reflect my personal opinion. I invite you into the conversation. Let's talk about the Bible! If you like this post, let me know in the comments or on social media or give this post a like. I would love to know if these posts on my blog are helpful.